“No, I’m not doing it. That’s not a hill I want to die on.”1 That was an executive response this week at work when given a choice to proceed with a situation or not. I have my own version with shoes; specifically 4 inch stilettos. High heels are are not comfortable.2 However, the right shoe and the right occasion, I will proudly wear/suffer those heels for two hours. So my idiom is, “that’s not a shoe I would suffer .”
You are asked for your opinion, your input, your preference a lot. What’s your reaction when you get pushback? Do you automatically hold your position or do you first think, does this really make a difference to me? Is this a hill I want to die on? Picking a movie, selecting a restaurant, choosing a font; while I may not be thrilled, I won’t have a strong objection. I often let go, not a hill I want to die on; not a shoe I want to suffer. As a vegetarian, now that’s where a fight will come in. I don’t eat meat and my definition of meat includes poultry and seafood. I have forgone food if there is nothing meatless.
Letting something pass does not mean you are weak, or afraid. It means it is not the level of something you want to push for. While it sounds simple, it can be difficult. Last night, I heard a couple loudly arguing in the street. I wondered if this was really over a hill worth dying for or if these were two people who each desperately wanted to be right and neither could let it go. This week, how do you evaluate if something is a big deal or not? What’s your shoe to suffer, your hill to die on?
1A military expression referring to an issue that the speaker wants to address, but recognizes would be too much hassle to deal with. It’s a metaphor for realizing that, although you want to defend your “hill” from attack, to do so would be suicidal given the much stronger enemy, and this particular hill isn’t so vital that you should give up your life for it, so it’s best to just retreat. from Urban Dictionary
2I mean high heels, not platforms or wedges. I mean shoes in which the heel of the foot is balanced precariously on a thin heel of 2 or more inches in height.
Balancing on Unstable Surfaces 
I have learned through experience you need to feel the question of “fight or shrug and move on”. Do I feel my core contract? As a former IBM Exec I left a meeting with my bosses’ boss stating…”I will work on this using your approach but will accept no commission as I don’t want my name associated with it”. Came back the next morning and he was willing to discuss options. I knew I had to do it the job…but could not stomach the approach. Thanks for the thoughts Shelia!
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