Relationships, dating, marriage, my mind tries to reconcile rules and logic for what works and what doesn’t to make up for my limited and nonexistent experience. So, please understand both my confusion and fascination with the Conways. Yes, some people read trashy novels for the summer, I succumbed to a couple of hours of mindless…
“If you don’t know the problem, how do you know if you are fixing the right thing?” Stunned silence and followed by a sputtered rational, “Well, we don’t usually know the problem.” This scenario occurs with frightening regularity and variations on the theme. “I’m technical, I don’t get involved on the business side, but let…
If you could take something to help wake you up, would you? Oh wait, there is coffee, tea, cola’s, a variety of drinks with caffeine. If you could take something to relax you, would you? Well, there are options, beer, wine, spirits; all natural distillations and more recently added to the list is cannabis. All…
I was confused by an email this week. I was copied, it was not directed at me, yet the content was so acrimonious and unnecessary, I felt bad. I was in awe of the eloquent response of my colleague. Societally, we accept a sort of ratio of bad behavior allowances for founders of companies, leaders,…
The historic, all women spacewalk didn’t happen. NASA didn’t have 2 spacesuits equipped to handle a woman’s smaller size. Blah, blah. blah. What a way to end women’s history month; a logical conclusion based on excuses rather than the admittance of gender bias. In lieu of a historic moment, we saw a historic trend. The…
I’m sitting in my car crying. I was in Whole Foods a few minutes ago. I saw this elderly man gingerly pushing a cart as if he was unsure of each step. As a child, I was taught, respect adults and to respect and give deference to the elderly. As my parents grew older, noticed…
This past spring, as I was walking, I noticed these “things.” It was the same “thing” in different locations, painted different colors. The plaque on them said Oakland A’s Stomper. Ohhhhhhh, it’s an anteater, an aardvark. It’s hard to have a mascot for athletics, so have a mascot with a name that starts with an A.…
I’ve been asked a few times, “why do black women look so mean all of the time.” It’s a good question, but I can’t think of an easy response. See the comments to the right I read this week.¹ I am referred to as an animal. “These are animals.” “Stop hiring these animals.” That was hard…
The Safeway clerked laughed and shook her head as she scanned my purchases. With 2 bottles of Dr Pepper and 2 giant sized Hershey’s Cookies and Cream bars; I laughed with her. I was in a full blown binge mode. Three days later, 12 bottles of Dr Pepper, 4 giant sized candy bars, 2 bags of…
“Why are you limping, are you hurt?” I get asked monthly. “I have scoliosis. My spine curves laterally to the right instead of going straight down my back throwing off my gait. I can compensate for it most of the time; when I’m tired, I limp.” Would friends and casual acquaintances ask me that so…
I had this moment of clarity. The Hasan Minaj, interview on the New Yorker radio hour. It’s right after 9/11, Hasan is a teenager and his father told him not to answer the phone; but of course he answers to vicious racial and religious slurs and threats and violence and ending with, and the caller…
The first sound – the loud smack of a 4×4 piece of wood hitting shin bones. The second sound – an anguished piercing scream. The third sound – silence. Everyone stopped – mid sentence, mid action, mid thought. A 145 pound wrestler with all his might tried to keep a gymnast on a beam, unaware,…
This was pricing discussion was about to take that ugly turn. Our pricing is 30% higher than the competition. The engineer flipped back to his PowerPoint slide detailing the functionalityand snapped, “We’re not higher, we have more features. You’re comparing apples and oranges.” The developers and offering management did the head nod, acknowledgement of the…
My favorite cashier at Target – Karen. Sure, I could do the self check out, but I always laugh with Karen It wasn’t always that way. In 2013, Target had reported that hackers stole data from up to 40 million credit and debit cards of shoppers who had visited its stores during the holiday season.…
Put down the phone, walk away from the tweets and posts and hashtags and let’s talk. Drop the defenses and attitude for a few moments. #MeToo shed light egregious forced assaults, degrading groping and humiliating innuendo in the workplace. Now, Three months post Weinstein, what sound likes “embarrassing choices” and “regrettable sex” have crept into…
Is it that obvious? I’ve walked by this fence more than 150 times. I took pictures of artwork in October. Yet, it wasn’t until last Friday night, when my friend Audrey was driving me home that I realized, there were letters, there was a name, “The Lot.” How did miss it? When I took the…
Suddenly there was silence. My brother and I were in another room during our parent’s Christmas party and the only sound was fast approaching footsteps. The door flew open and my mom’s expression indicated she was not happy. We were 20 and 21, home forwinter break and got a look from my mom that indicated…
The bogeyman is a hoax; it’s some made up creature that spans multiple cultures, albeit with various other names, used to frighten children into good behavior. We’ve seen children reduced to tears, fearful of the threat of mythical bogeyman. But this trick is not just for kids. Consider the adult version of the bogeyman. It…
Ace does not like me. This is a fact. Ace is a dog and every time he sees me, a barking frenzy ensues. He is not afraid of me. His tail is wagging, but his demeanor is more, let me get off the leash and see watch what happens. Ace has spoken barked. Someone mentioned to…
Assumed you’re always being watched. I know there are those bristling at the thought. From my 7th floor balcony I can see people in a parking garage 3 blocks away, see housekeeping enter and exit rooms at a hotel a block away and see inside which restaurants have a line before I go out to…
The song, Ain’t too Proud too Beg* has been on my mind and I’m not happy with the dictionary definition of beg which says to earnestly or humbly ask for something. Begging is pleading with a sense of urgency and fervor. It’s been informed by 3 generations in my family. I begged for Captain Crunch cereal…
I don’t associate vegan restaurants with decadence, but Souley Vegan, Monday through Friday, from 6:00 am – 10:00am, serves beignets and chicory coffee. It takes 11 minutes for me to run across the street, grab my fix and get back to my desk for a sugar and caffeine party. My party was interrupted on Friday.…
How are you doing? The clerk caught my eyes, and he knew I meant it and admitted, “I know I’m suppose to say I’m good, but I am tired. I have school, two jobs and I’ve not had a day off in 10 days.” With that, we could have a conversation. The exchange left me…
Stop it people. Stop it now. Accepting a Facebook friend request from Jaden K. Smith will not allow him to hack my account and the account of all my fiends. It is a hoax. I got warnings from six brilliant people. Why? When something supports our belief system, there is less of a chance we…
Part 1: The woman, already annoyed her Starbucks mobile order wasn’t ready, got a little more frustrated when the milk canister was empty and while her manner was respectful, there seemed to be a tinge of contempt as she shoved the container to the barista and brusquely said “out of milk.” Her look indicated she expected…
There is a thing I do, make white people comfortable. Survival techniques my parents taught me. Be well-mannered and respectful as not be perceived as an uppity negro. It does not matter if you are better educated, better read and more economically advantaged, just make sure ‘they”don’t feel it. Over the years, I learned, be…
So the bus passes by this woman waiting at the bus stop. OK, maybe the driver didn’t see her, but still, it is a bus stop. I think the bus driver should have stopped. The woman takes off and runs after the bus. She catches is when the bus is at a stop light and…
Me, “It’s Marilyn Manson. Bo, “No, it’s Depeche Mode” Me, “It’s like one of the only two Marilyn Manson song I like, Your Own Personal Jesus.” Bo, “No, it’s Depeche Mode, I first heard it when I was in Japan., it was nuts, whoa, what is that. We’d walked by a bar where the song was…
Customer: “Are we going to finish on time?I am not seeing a lot of progress, but I am still paying the same amount every week.” Contractor: “Yes, we will finish on time. You don’t see a lot, but a lot of work is going into creating the base for the rest of work. If we…
Homeless, Broke and Ugly. It’s one of the panhandler’s signs from the popular spot at the intersection of the freeway, police station, cannabis shop two blocks from the place I now call home. One of the daily reminders I am out of the suburban bubble. There is a Starbucks in the building where I live…
Thursday was take your child to work day. While I work from home that day and did not see the display of kids in the office, every day I am privy to people bringing their “inner child” to work, i.e. people who use childlike logic to explain what something didn’t get done, to rationalized what…
Sheila, your year-end write-up doesn’t look like you did anything last year. I sent you an example of what to include but all you wrote was the area and the results, you didn’t include what you had to do get there. <FLASH> Yes, she was right. I didn’t want to seem like I was whining…
Who you are in good times is what you want to be. What you do in challenging times is your nature. How you treat people in victory or defeat is your character. It’s easy to be your best self when things are good. Challenges fray nerves, shake beliefs and reveal truths. Is graciousness and compassion something you aspire to in either…
It was a spirited discussion of Trump versus Clinton with supporters on both sides. There was a moment when I just listened, observed and smiled; it was the coolest thing. This wasn’t some news program, debate or viral meme. This was dinner with a diverse group of friends having honest discussion. This was a group…
I had a gourmet breakfast today. In terms of today’s food trends it was the butter crunch bowl, crisp cereal and organic milk with just a hint of caramel and sea salt. Yes, that’s one way I could rationalized the fact I just ate a bowl of sea salt caramel gelato with butter crisp cookies…
I have had it. I saw a t shirt that said, “keep clam, it’s all about me.” People say, mostly in jest, well, it is all about me. STOP. Let’s just stop it. Time for a moratorium on it’s all about me. It’s not cute and it’s not all about you. How many times have…
I know I’m right, but I must not engage and tell someone else they are wrong. No good can come of this, but it is taking everything in me to avoid a verbal smack down on Instagram. I did a post this week for a yoga challenge and someone commented I did the wrong pose.…
Teacher/Me: Your audience has to care about your topic. Look at them, ask them do they want to hear you speak about why the Cavaliers beat the Warriors. Student: But I’ve got facts and points in the game I can describe that show the Cavaliers are a superior team. Teacher/Me: Look at the 15 people in…
Ugh, I hate trying to put in codes for gated communities. It’s stressful, I feel like people are watching me as I fumble to lower my window, read the instructions and fumble with my phone to read the code. As I’m doing my routine, a residence pulls up to the gate and it opens. I…
I got nothing for my blog post this week. I drafted three different topics and nothing is fully thought out. With that, I realized, there are times to remain silent. We’ve all experienced at work or in everyday life when someone is talking and you realize, they have no idea what they are talking about. Worse…
Teen Kills Younger Brother Because He Thought He Deleted His Pokémon. This is a hoax. The phenomenon of Pokémon Go this week has unleashed a multitude of stories, many with no foundation in reality. Recent examples of non-factual facts are a hoax and a meme. Posting a legal notice on your Facebook wall will protect…
Val: “I don’t know, is it ok to wear a little makeup to work out?” Me: “Of course, it is just putting our best selves forward.” Val: Yes, but is it being authentic or is it being fake? Am I being my natural self?” Me: “Oh please, my “natural self” has flatulence but that doesn’t…
“I’m different. Always have been. It took a while but I have accepted I am a magic not meant for everyone to understand, so they question. That’s ok. I will stay in my lane being all magical and stuff.” 1 I’ve got lots of different. One is this blog. My posts are about the adventures…
“You should not have cut your hair, you need to wear a wig and bleach your teeth to look better.” Yup, someone told me that last week. I thought, I don’t care. But what does “I don’t care” really mean? Are some phrases used so automatically, feelings and express emotions go unexpressed? “I don’t care,”…
Reality TV illustrates a powerful sense of self and confidence. I watch American Idol and So You Think You Can Dance in amazement and puzzlement. Contestants who felt they had exceptional ability are yet stunned when turned away from the show. Did these people have no one to tell them of the disparity between their competency and the…
This week was a media maelstrom of jaw dropping, pearl clutching moments. A hash-tagging frenzy of #LuciferInTheFLesh and #BeckyWithTheGoodHair followed former Congressman Boehner who spoke of his personal experience with Ted Cruz and Beyoncé Knowles Carter after the debut of her visual album, Lemonade respectively. Why was public reaction as if they were both talking…
Most of us have seen “the face.” It’s that face that says a lot without saying a word. It turns out that face is universal and researchers from Ohio State have name it the not face.” “The face” as I call it, is an expression that indicates displeasure, disagreement, even you’re about to be in…
Donald Trump supporters say they like him because he tells it like it is. Really? Is that a way to define leadership? Kids tell it like it is. To their parent’s chagrin, they blurt out, “there is a pirate,” at someone wearing an eyepatch or “look a cyborg,” when someone has a prosthetic limb. “Telling…
Friend: “Well, you can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink.” Me: “Wrong, my job is to make that horse thirsty.” I was frustrated because I’d unsuccessfully pitched a strategy and plan to implement a solution. Despite everything presented to ensure success, articulated business value, detailed implementation schedule, risk contingency and risk mitigation plans,…
Why are people confused at a 4 way stop? You yield to any vehicle that reaches the intersection before you do. How are people learning to drive? YouTube? If there is a pedestrian crossing, forget it. The stop becomes a game of four car roulette. Some drivers seem to think, the first car to move is the first…
