I froze this week and it was not the two feet of snow or the two degree temperature. It was everything happening and when I am overwhelmed, I freeze.
The focused civil rights movement was 14 years – 1954 to 1968 and I was born in the middle of it. Dr King would ask the protest to be peaceful, orderly and free in their good clothes. Those images of the water hoses, dogs and bully clubs used to bloody peaceful black and allied white protestors continues to be painful. So, my idea for this week, find some of those photos and post.
Or, maybe compare and contrast Alex Pretti to Philandro Castile. Philandro Castile, the murder that broke me. Ever have a broken taillight. It happens, there is a whole syndrome names for it. You know, when you have one, you start to notice all the other art with a broken tail light. Philandro Castile was stopped by police in Minneapolis MN for a broken tail light. He informed the officer who stopped him, he had a gun and permit. That officer proceeded to shot and killed as his fiancée was live streamed the interaction and he 4 year old daughter screamed and cried in the back seat. That was July 6, 2016. Almost 10 years ago. The officer who killed Mr Castile was acquitted of all charges.
“Seeing someone like me.” As a child, I thought in mathematical terms. I could substitute myself for x. Anything I saw as good, I could be. I learned as an adult, that’s not reality. A large portion of the population could not see themselves as Philandro, but could it Alex. Alex rushed across the street to assist a woman who had been knocked to the sidewalk by ICE. People could see themselves here.
I was stopped after I exited a bookstore in Louisville Kentucky where I’d just hosted a bookclub me. I realized store security suspected me, the one black person in the group of three, the one black person in my bookclub meeting, I dumped the contents of my bag on the side walk. Clearly racism, I got people into the store, the bookclub members purchased the next book and now this. But this is what hurt,? Kelli turned around and said “Sheila what did you do?” Paula quickly responded, She did nothing.” Kelli didn’t let it go, “Well she must have done something.” I just mumbled, “I am black. “
She, Kelli, could not see herself in my situation. It’s not a matter of substituting yourself in the equation. Her rules, what she lives by is not the same. I can post all the pictures I want from the civil rights movement and it won’t mean anything to some people other than black and white photos from a long gone history. You have to be able to see yourself represented. People could not see themselves as Philandro Castile, but, they could see themselves as Alex Pretti.
Time for me to thaw out. I attended an event Fearless, Sleepless, Deathless by Maria Pinto. During her talk, Maria mentioned a Jamaican/Caribbean saying “If you don’t hear, you will feel.” This means listen to guidance to avoid hardships; negative outcomes occur when ignoring advice. As I thought about the things that have froze me, I’ve thought about the saying in terms of history.
In the context of history what are the things we have failed to hear that we are now feeling. For years, decades even, I have wondered why more people were not in solidarity with ending the plight of Black Americans. Why the idea of white supremacy. I looked at it from only one side. It did not occur to me, this is all because some people could never, ever see themselves in the same situation. I’m back to frozen as I realize I have righteously stuck to one perspective rather than a strategy of people have to see themselves and that’s the real issue to problem solving.
Balancing on Unstable Surfaces 