I am sad. There, I said it. And, I’m going to feel sad. No list of what I am thankful for. No attempt to do a “happy” activity. Our emotional control center does not work that way; different parts of the brain activate happiness, fear, sadness, disgust and anger. A good emotion does not negate…
Saturday, 6:45 am, my brother calls, “I know the earthquake was in southern California, but it was a 7.1.” I’m still a little groggy with no idea there was a second quake, “Nah, it’s all cool here, I have my earthquake go bag-I do need to put the $200 in cash back in it.”After a…
“Based on a true story.” That is code for a condensed version of the story, trimmed down to be told in a short period of time and carefully edited to create a compelling story of near mythical proportion. Coming this fourth of July, amidst the parades, barbecues and fireworks, are you celebrating a holiday “based…
Relationships, dating, marriage, my mind tries to reconcile rules and logic for what works and what doesn’t to make up for my limited and nonexistent experience. So, please understand both my confusion and fascination with the Conways. Yes, some people read trashy novels for the summer, I succumbed to a couple of hours of mindless…
Gun control – it’s not going to happen. Site facts and statistic, use current events and blame the NRA. Nothing is going to happen. Pontificate on a soap box, sign petitions, post on social media. You’re missing the larger context. Women. The Equal Rights Amendment (ERA) is a proposed amendment to the United States Constitution…
“Stop, stop, stop. I don’t care. You’ve not been taking a minute yet and I’m ready to check my phone for something more interesting.” That’s me abruptly interrupting a practice presentation. I’ve been coaching, technical people and the only way to shake them loose from a methodical droning of white noise is to stop them quickly…
“If you don’t know the problem, how do you know if you are fixing the right thing?” Stunned silence and followed by a sputtered rational, “Well, we don’t usually know the problem.” This scenario occurs with frightening regularity and variations on the theme. “I’m technical, I don’t get involved on the business side, but let…
Memorial Day – at times it seems we are trying to hard to forget what the day is really about. Which is rather ironic for a holiday that is all about memory. Memorial day is in honor of those who have died while serving in the country’s armed forces. Formerly known as decoration day, the…
My mom died of lung cancer. She never smoked a cigarette a day in her life. My dad was the smoker. My dad had a choice to smoke; my mom had a choice to live with a man who smoked. Cigarettes cause chronic illnesses and are deadly. But, you have a choice to smoke. Legislation…
Our devices tell us when to upgrade, when our performance is lagging and when we will no longer be supported. It’s not planned obsolesce to make money. There is a time when new technology can enhance performance (camera technology) and solve problems (thumbprint security). Basically, we know when things are ok, when to upgrade and…
“Sorry, there was a second gunshot, can you repeat that again? Yes, those are sirens, police cars are coming now, let’s see, there are 2,3, 8 of them. They’ve got the guy against a truck and 6 cops are standing in a semi circle around him.” That was my side of a conversation with a…
If you could take something to help wake you up, would you? Oh wait, there is coffee, tea, cola’s, a variety of drinks with caffeine. If you could take something to relax you, would you? Well, there are options, beer, wine, spirits; all natural distillations and more recently added to the list is cannabis. All…
“We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak. Epictetus” We have only one brain, so, in principle, should we believe and do what we are told rather than think for ourselves and draw conclusions? Many comments about the Mueller Report have a similar tone to…
I was confused by an email this week. I was copied, it was not directed at me, yet the content was so acrimonious and unnecessary, I felt bad. I was in awe of the eloquent response of my colleague. Societally, we accept a sort of ratio of bad behavior allowances for founders of companies, leaders,…
You’re on a plane. You hear “Ladies and gentlemen, may I have your attention please. This is an emergency, and we are required to evacuate, please locate the closest emergency exit. Please exit immediately, but calmly.” Pause. What do you do? In an emergency, there is the stress response, and it is not logical. People start…
The historic, all women spacewalk didn’t happen. NASA didn’t have 2 spacesuits equipped to handle a woman’s smaller size. Blah, blah. blah. What a way to end women’s history month; a logical conclusion based on excuses rather than the admittance of gender bias. In lieu of a historic moment, we saw a historic trend. The…
It’s a strange thing that happens. When you travel, it’s a but harder to get everything packed back in; even if you don’t have additional stuff to add. But let’s face it, on most trips, you’re going to come back with more than you started with. You soon start to account for this and determine…
The math, it should balance out. Really it should work. Yet, history and experience show it doesn’t. You know this, you can have a day with 3 good things and you are so happy and yet something annoying that happened 2 weeks ago can null and void the euphoria. Why? Good news, good things trigger…
“So, when all the fans and the estate, and all the anger—you guys gonna get it, you know that, right? Y’all gonna get it, I’m gonna get it, we’re all gonna get it,” Oprah Winfrey said near the end of her special After Neverland.¹ Perhaps, I’m gonna get it too. Leaving Neverland aired on HBO this…
Flight attendants ask you to locate the nearest exit. Movie theaters have additional exits, typically beside the screens, that lead outside. Do you discount the possibility an emergency, distracted because you are doing other things or do you make a mental note of the exit? “We need maps showing where the exits are.” “There are exit signs at…
What would you do if you wanted to be bad at your job? Don’t over think it; what would be on the list? You have a sense of what success should look like, but do you know what not to do? You may have a quota or a list of of objectives for a job;…
The trunk release for my car does not open doors. Saturday, I found myself standing in front of Lululemon pointing my keys, pushing the truck unlock and waiting for the door to pop open. When I’m off-balance physically I stumble and call. Mentally, I suppose it’s an inappropriate use of an unrelated item to open a…
Church and State were in the news last week. Virginia featured photos if elected officials in black from photos from the 80s and 60s. I am not surprised, I am over it. Pope Francis admitted nuns have been sexually abused by priests and bishops. I am not surprised. I am outraged. The politicians are jumping…
“I startled my neighbors in the elevator when they got on. Another set of neighbors seemed almost speechless when I said hi. Even the front desk staff looked taken aback. What’s up with all the confusion today?” Someone pointed to my head and everyone laughed. A group of friends came over to celebrate the lunar new…
I’m sitting in my car crying. I was in Whole Foods a few minutes ago. I saw this elderly man gingerly pushing a cart as if he was unsure of each step. As a child, I was taught, respect adults and to respect and give deference to the elderly. As my parents grew older, noticed…
I can’t do this. I will seem angry and militant, I’ll appear to be someone whining. My thoughts about not writing a Martin Luther King day posts are similar to my struggle on the first year of the MLK day. If you were a federal or bank employee, you got the day off; the rest…
“ I haven’t skied in years. I used to go to Aspen, Vail, Cooper, Steamboat,” I said wistfully. “I skied before people wore helmets.” Sensing confusion and disbelief, I went on to add, “Yes, there was a time when people didn’t wear helmets to ski.” My friend, still not sure just kind of mumbled, “no…
“I would build a great wall, and nobody builds walls better than me, believe me, and I’ll build them very inexpensively. I will build a great great wall on our southern border and I’ll have Mexico pay for that wall. Source: Donald Trump’s presidential announcement speech June 16, 2015 This is stupid; there I said it.…
It is the time of year with all of the best of and top lists. Soooooooo, here are the most viewed blog posts of 2018. The top one is from 2017, a reminder, that even when the year changes, things from the previous year are still relevant. Hush: Summer of Love, the Fourth of July…
Friday, December 21 marked the winter solstice in the northern hemisphere; the longest night of the year. From here on out our days will get longer by more than 2 minutes a day until the summer solstice. Sure, some boring dry facts, but isn’t it fascinating the length of daylight varies by more than 2…
I wanted to go to yoga; but my car stopped at the mouth of a tunnel and refused to move until it was pushed by the car behind me. I was later reminded of Mick Jagger and the Rolling Stones with “You can’t always get what you want, but if you try sometimes you might find,…
“Hey, I’m going to do my best to push you out of here, OK?” “Uh, yes, thank you, thank you very much.” Hence was the start of a .93 mile bumper push. There was no rehearsal, no previous experience, no instructions and yet here we were, stunt driving. It started as I was driving on the…
Steve Jobs, by all accounts, was not a nice person. Jerk is an oft used descriptor. He was also a genius, the man who, without a doubt, made Apple the juggernaut it is today. So, how do we balance the good, the bad and the ugly. How much bad behavior is to be tolerated because…
The only person you are destined to become, is the person you decide to be. Ralph Waldo Emerson This sounds really profound in its simplicity and then you think about and want to argue. But wait, there’s more, you just don’t “decide,” you make a commitment. The person you decide to be is an ongoing…
A police officer shot John Crawford dead in a Wal-Mart. Mr. Crwaford was shopping in the toy aisle and holding a toy BB gun. Mr. Crawford was a black man. The police officer, who was acquitted of any wrong doing, was a white man. Let’s start a conversation about gun control and the interpretation of…
My T-shirt caught fire and burned in the microwave.¹ There probably wouldn’t have been a fire if I’d removed the shirt when the timer went off, but, I was working in another room. Sure, I smelled smoke, the air has been smokey for 2 days because of the wildfires. Losing the shirt was not upsetting. Neither was the fact I could…
I was a five year old who stuttered with an occasional stammer. A few people noticed and mentioned this to my mom and recommended early intervention to correct the problem. There was a frustrating afternoon for both of us when she was trying to get me to say school and something snapped. She looked at me;…
Damn. He’s back. He’s thinner, a lot thinner to the point of gauntness, he has the yellow cast of jaundice and a weariness that wasn’t there before, or maybe it’s just the loss of hope. I last saw Curt in Starbucks loading bags of sugar into a cup of coffee. It was February and he…
I get anxious this time of year now and latter realize it is October 17th. My dad died on this day in 1998 and somehow I always find myself doing something, well, not normal. This year I cleaned the plexiglass on the 7th floor balcony at 8:30…. pm. I got my own crazy. My brother…
911, what is your emergency? People, 911 is not your personal assistant or bodyguard on demand. In Minnesota a man ran out of cheese while making lasagne and called 911. In Ohio, a man called 911 because Burger King would not honor a coupon. An understaffed, overstressed operation should not be fielding these calls; 911 operators…
This past spring, as I was walking, I noticed these “things.” It was the same “thing” in different locations, painted different colors. The plaque on them said Oakland A’s Stomper. Ohhhhhhh, it’s an anteater, an aardvark. It’s hard to have a mascot for athletics, so have a mascot with a name that starts with an A.…
Here are the numbers; 59% of the 997 people surveyed said Kavanaugh should not be appointed to the supreme court if Ford’s charges are true; 12% are unsure and 29% say yes. This is not partisan politics; this is wrong. This was not a normal week. How did we get here? The Nuclear Option The…
The tech headlines in June were all about the inaccuracy of facial recognition software, if you’re not a white male.¹ For white males, facial recognition for gender was accurate 99% of the time; the accuracy of facial recognition for gender of dark skinned females was 65%. Why is this happening in 2018? We know how, the…
I’ve been asked a few times, “why do black women look so mean all of the time.” It’s a good question, but I can’t think of an easy response. See the comments to the right I read this week.¹ I am referred to as an animal. “These are animals.” “Stop hiring these animals.” That was hard…
The Safeway clerked laughed and shook her head as she scanned my purchases. With 2 bottles of Dr Pepper and 2 giant sized Hershey’s Cookies and Cream bars; I laughed with her. I was in a full blown binge mode. Three days later, 12 bottles of Dr Pepper, 4 giant sized candy bars, 2 bags of…
Why do we celebrate Labor Day, historical significance or modern day celebration? Labor day originated as a celebration of unions, back in the late1800’s. Now, the first Monday in September is more about back to school, end of summer and sales. Union membership was at a record low in 2017 – 10.7% of the working population.…
“Why are you limping, are you hurt?” I get asked monthly. “I have scoliosis. My spine curves laterally to the right instead of going straight down my back throwing off my gait. I can compensate for it most of the time; when I’m tired, I limp.” Would friends and casual acquaintances ask me that so…
You are being watched. It’s not a person looking at you, speaking into a headset, it’s not an overhead motion activated camera tracking with a flashing red recording light. No, it’s none of that cool looking stuff you see in movies. If you use a computer for work, your employee can install or may have…
There are people living in tents, sleeping on the sidewalks, huddling in doorways. Why? They don’t have homes. Must be a shortage of homes. Crazy, right? There is a lack of diversity in tech. Must be a “pipeline problem?” Oh please, that is a marketing construct for corporate absolution. The real issue is supply and…
Nia Wilson died when her throat was slashed in an unprovoked attack on a BART train a few weeks ago; the day I turned 60. I determined I needed to work until 65 to ensure I am fully funded to the age of 96. I was in a bubble. I forgot Black women experience the…
