I have had it. I saw a t shirt that said, “keep clam, it’s all about me.” People say, mostly in jest, well, it is all about me. STOP. Let’s just stop it. Time for a moratorium on it’s all about me. It’s not cute and it’s not all about you. How many times have you been in a meeting when someone starts a discussion not relevant to the group? One person with some grandiose sense of importance takes over the agenda with a blatant disregard for the other participants destroying any sense of community, collaboration or respect for the group. I was in one meeting, the organizer called someone out for derailing the conversation and the response was, thanks to pop culture idioms , “well, it’s all about me.” No. Just because it is a saying doesn’t mean it should be a doing.
This is how it breaks down. Sometimes, it’s not all about you. Be mindful of what is going on and recognize there are times when the conversation will not focus on you, nor should it. At the same time, in a group, you need to have a certain level of mindfulness to realize someone maybe looking for a moment. Look, we all struggle to find the “right” time to discuss the hard things. Just as you struggle to broach a subject, ask yourself, do you create an environment where people can bring things to you? Do you listen and observe in the moment? Can you can sense when there is more to be said. In these moments, do you pause and ask, is there a concern, is there something someone wants to add, and is there something I need to be aware of? We all want that moment created so we can talk, but do you provide it for others? Have you spent the day with a friend and let the focus be about that friend and what they need in that moment?
You can’t go back and edit life. You can see, hear, feel and listen for what is going on in the moment and act accordingly. I typically grab a quick coffee after yoga with the three friends pictured. We laugh often, give support unconditionally and ponder life as we know it. This is the group that brainstormed blog ideas and titles with me. They gave me weekly encouragement as I prepared to launch. Saturday, we planned a leisurely evening with a little acro yoga and dinner. Do your happy memories include feeling a part of a group of people, laughing and feeling a certain warmth and freedom of acceptance? There are many ways this happens, but, it’s not going to happen in an “it’s all about me” moment. Saturday night, I didn’t mention I’m moving in a month. I’ll catch everyone up later at coffee. However, for that special evening, in those moments, it was keep calm, it’s not about me, it’s about us.