We have 12,000 to 85,000 thoughts a day; the average being 50,000 thoughts. That’s a lot of thoughts. For most people (probably you included) 85% to 95% of those thoughts are negative. Are you listening to yourself? Time to rebalance your thoughts. Rather than the obvious -notice your thoughts take a different focused approach. This week,…
You know the debate, the one about nature versus nurture¹, which is more powerful? It’s usually a conversation about the environment a child grows up in. What about now, as adults, what’s the impact of nature versus nurture and what is nurture for grown folks? Here’s the deal, researchers have pretty much agreed, the nature…
“Stop, stop, stop. You’ve bee talking for almost 2 minutes and I have no idea of what you are talking about. This is a 911 call. not a police report. What is the business problem?” That’s me doing my job, coaching technical people to speak so normal people can understand. I am blunt. I have a…
I am directionally challenged. I google and mapquest to figure out what my destination looks like ad how to get there. Once, I noticed my chatty phone had gone unusually silent, I discovered in that 15 minutes of silence, I’d lost my signal. I now print backup directions in addition to leaving extra time and…
Saturday, 6:45 am, my brother calls, “I know the earthquake was in southern California, but it was a 7.1.” I’m still a little groggy with no idea there was a second quake, “Nah, it’s all cool here, I have my earthquake go bag-I do need to put the $200 in cash back in it.”After a…
“Stop, stop, stop. I don’t care. You’ve not been taking a minute yet and I’m ready to check my phone for something more interesting.” That’s me abruptly interrupting a practice presentation. I’ve been coaching, technical people and the only way to shake them loose from a methodical droning of white noise is to stop them quickly…
What would you do if you wanted to be bad at your job? Don’t over think it; what would be on the list? You have a sense of what success should look like, but do you know what not to do? You may have a quota or a list of of objectives for a job;…
The only person you are destined to become, is the person you decide to be. Ralph Waldo Emerson This sounds really profound in its simplicity and then you think about and want to argue. But wait, there’s more, you just don’t “decide,” you make a commitment. The person you decide to be is an ongoing…
Facebook showed this photo I posted three years ago today. It reminded me how different some things are. I took the week off to do nothing in particular, except to rest pause and reflect. When was the last time you took a pause? Lessons learned; it’s something I do at work after a big project. It’s…
If you don’t know, what you don’t know, how do you learn? Follow me here. In the realm of knowing versus don’t know, there are 4 possibilities. 1. You know what you know 2. You know what you don’t know 3. You don’t know what you know 4. You don’t know what you don’t know.…
I hadn’t intentionally changed my order at Starbucks in 10 years. In March, the barista made me a vanilla latte instead of a chi tea latte and boom, for the last 6 months, my drink order has switched. Funny, it hadn’t occurred to me to try anything new. “Stuck in a rut” is defined as…
You are not stuck. Sure, people like to think they are, but they aren’t. You are not in the same place now that you were three years ago. Seriously, unless you have been in a coma for 36 months, you faced obstacles, changes, emotional turmoil along with moments of sheer joy and laughter. Honest reflection…
So the bus passes by this woman waiting at the bus stop. OK, maybe the driver didn’t see her, but still, it is a bus stop. I think the bus driver should have stopped. The woman takes off and runs after the bus. She catches is when the bus is at a stop light and…
I look observant in the first few photos¹. Subdued for no particular reason; it was an open space and the alley was empty. Still, I just stood there for 35 frames until I extended my arms and smiled.A bird doesn’t fly without spreading its wings. It is much the same with people. Without stretching our…
Me, “It’s Marilyn Manson. Bo, “No, it’s Depeche Mode” Me, “It’s like one of the only two Marilyn Manson song I like, Your Own Personal Jesus.” Bo, “No, it’s Depeche Mode, I first heard it when I was in Japan., it was nuts, whoa, what is that. We’d walked by a bar where the song was…
Leaving to spend time with family and hospitalized for exhaustion. Recognize these as code speak? In the business world, an executive is “fired” but the reason is given as spend time with family. A celebrity parties to hard or has a drug overdose the reason is the half truth of hospitalized for exhaustion. This is…
There is that moment when I am barely awake and I want to stay in curled up in bed, but I need to go the bathroom. Need wins and I get up immediately. Today, the need is losing. I want to relax. I want to do nothing all day and sit on the balcony and watch the sunset. However,…
The first beep made me laugh. The second beep, well. really? Someone blew his/her horn at me twice, apparently with the goal of hurrying me along so he/she could park in a space occupied by me and my car. Friday, I had fifteen minutes before I needed to leave for my next appointment, Perfect, I…
I hate “planning.” which is ironic since people who know me would raise an eyebrow and tell you I would plan my dreams if I could. I hate planning, but, I know it is necessary to get good results. I had an all day meeting this week and we spent a good two hours talking to…
I began the move into my new condo. The previous owners had their cleaners clean. I hired cleaners to clean and yet I still spent two hours removing a film a grease and a quarter inch layer thick of grim and dust off the kitchen stove. That was just wrong. But it was also, subjective.…
Ouch. This week, I will travel to a conference for two days of design and development, move to a new city into a new house, and find a new job or make significant inroads on the job search. A few people have observed, I have a sense of calm and centeredness and to my surprise,…
Sheila, your year-end write-up doesn’t look like you did anything last year. I sent you an example of what to include but all you wrote was the area and the results, you didn’t include what you had to do get there. <FLASH> Yes, she was right. I didn’t want to seem like I was whining…
It’s the end of the year when I start to clear out stuff. In the past, I went room to room. This year, I’m using a new strategy, purge first. I mean a serious purge of gathering all like items in one place and starting to toss stuff out. When I finally got all my books…
Who you are in good times is what you want to be. What you do in challenging times is your nature. How you treat people in victory or defeat is your character. It’s easy to be your best self when things are good. Challenges fray nerves, shake beliefs and reveal truths. Is graciousness and compassion something you aspire to in either…
Lurking in the shadows of the sustainable energy efficient lightening of corporate offices are vampires. I am not kidding. This is not a Halloween fluff piece. This is the alarming truth about an epidemic in the workplace. The savvy office worker knows it is essential to show value, be it sales, numbers, creativity, etc. Then,…
I’ve already hosed down, scrubbed and applied a coat of protectant and shine to the garbage bins (Amor All makes them look really good.) I’ve arranged the contents of the refrigerator to reflect a sense of whimsy should someone open it. I’ve used a toothpick to dislodge any debris from the corners of the windows.…
One of the cool things about good mirrors, they reflect what’s there. There is no opinion, nothing that tries to make you feel good or bad, they just reflect. The mirror does not say, oh those pants make you look fat, that shirt is to tight or that color is wrong for you. The mirror…
Ugh, I hate trying to put in codes for gated communities. It’s stressful, I feel like people are watching me as I fumble to lower my window, read the instructions and fumble with my phone to read the code. As I’m doing my routine, a residence pulls up to the gate and it opens. I…
I heard a pedestrian shout, “Hey, what are you doing?” I was so focused on listening to my driving directions after paying the parking lot attendant and fumbling for the button to raise my window I did not see the guy on the sidewalk I was about to hit. I yelled back, “Oh no, I’m…
Reality TV illustrates a powerful sense of self and confidence. I watch American Idol and So You Think You Can Dance in amazement and puzzlement. Contestants who felt they had exceptional ability are yet stunned when turned away from the show. Did these people have no one to tell them of the disparity between their competency and the…
It is midnight and after a tense 15 minutes of driving a painfully slow 20 miles per hour on a long dark winding road, three heart pounding encounters with startled deer and a 3 point turn that turn into a8 points of panic, I’m, literally, on the road again. I was driving in the pitch…
“I was late for the online meeting because my laptop froze up when I hit my desk and my fingers were too cold to make the phone work.” Well, Friday was April Fool’s day, but this was not a joke. I had a 5:30 am online meeting. I set two alarms set to make sure I didn’t oversleep. I jumped up…
Friend: “Well, you can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink.” Me: “Wrong, my job is to make that horse thirsty.” I was frustrated because I’d unsuccessfully pitched a strategy and plan to implement a solution. Despite everything presented to ensure success, articulated business value, detailed implementation schedule, risk contingency and risk mitigation plans,…
It is that time of year; American Idol audition time. It’s hard to watch the heartbreaking stories of people who put everything, their hopes, their dream on the audition and don’t make it. I find myself in tears for some stranger as they walk back to the embrace of family and friends. Yes, I hear…
I can be stubborn and I will insist on doing everything myself. After a dinner party this summer, the last few guests offered to help bring in everything from outside. With great bravado, I quickly waved their help away. I was the host; they were guest. They reminded me that if I left all that food…
Labor day is all about a celebration of work. It seems like a logical time to reflect about what has happened in the year so far and how to end it. Henry Ford said Vision without execution is just hallucination. Dare I stop hallucinating? As I reflect, in front of my Mac, I am reminded…
My hot topic of the week, I look like an engineer. It’s the media reaction to a recruitment ad for OneLogin featuring a female engineer that resulted in comments that the photo of a woman engineer, who is an actual engineer did not “look like an engineer.” A social media response ensured with #ILookLikeAnEngineer. Yes,…
The trained eye can spot the fake Rolex or Louis Vuitton knockoff. The same is true in business; the phony insincere suck up is easy to spot, so knock it off. What can you do not be labeled as the fake, the phony, the poser? This part is like cleaning out your closet of fashion…
I present to you the adult temper tantrum. Angry Person on the phone: “I spent 20 hours doing this revalidation and then I couldn’t submit because I was revoked.” Pause… “The note said I would I was due to expire on April 30 and I could not submit on the 30th.” Pause… “ This is the dumbest…
“It’s your fault.” “No, you don’t understand. I continue to go above and beyond what is expected to help this client time after time. I have bent over backwards trying to help this team. This last request is just ridiculous, but they keep hounding me.” “Yes, I understand and it is your fault. You have…
In the movies, there is the soundtrack to cue the moment the hero rises and accomplishes something magical, from the perfect solo, the game saving basket, the solving of an equation, the realization they are about to lose the love of their life and it all changes. There is no music in real life to…
Reality TV illustrates a powerful sense of self and confidence. I watch American Idol and So You Think You Can Dance in amazement and puzzlement. Contestants who felt they had exceptional ability are yet stunned when turned away from the show. Did these people have no one to tell them of the disparity between their…
I did not get to go to the big awards dinner. I did not get the big bonus. I did not get written up in the company newsletter. No one on my team did. We did not have a successful product launch. In 1986, no one was interested in sleek stand alone ATMs. The successful…
Abandon the concept of a resume. Yup throw it out. When I graduated from the University of Tennessee, I had one of those carefully constructed mechanical engineering resumes I used for all my interviews including Proctor & Gamble (adult diaper manufacturing), Newport News Shipbuilding (HVAC on ships) and IBM (banking). Three very different companies. Three…
OK, who are you most likely to believe. The person who is arguing a fact and yet you know they were wrong two weeks ago, but would not admit it. OR The person who is arguing a fact and in the last year, that person has admitted twice, they were wrong. I’m thinking, you’re going…
When you set goals, consider what you will need to give up, realize the expert has failed more than the novice has tried and finally, find your people. Surround yourself with the “right” people. Your people are those that support your goals and share your vision. Your people are those that want to see you succeed.…
“Life is too short,” is an over used, misguided cliché of fill in the blank babble. At least from an analytical view. The average lifespan for American men is about 76 years and for American women it’s around 81 years. Not that short. You don’t know when you will die, you don’t know the day,…
After a dinner party this summer, the last few guests offered to help bring in everything from outside. With great bravado, I quickly waved their help away. I was the host; they were guest. They reminded me that if I left all that food outside, I would have uninvited guests at the critter buffet. The…
“We can’t work with that team!” This is the part where management brings in team building exercises. Falling back into the arms of your team, ropes courses, solving puzzles and playing games. This will help you work better because …the team has now “bonded?” No doubt, team members may get to know each other better, they may…
Try as I could I could not do a one-handed handstand. My arm would not budge as I tried to lift it up. A friend suggested that I shift my body weight? HUH? What a seemingly simple idea. How could that possibly be the solution? As engineer I know about balance. If one thing shifts,…
