It must be me? This does not make sense. Why would someone lie to me about something I can easily validate? Or worse, deny accountability with an outright denial when presented with evidence of their deceptive actions. Example. Me: You sent an email with everyone’s information, that is confidential, that should not have been done. Them: No I didn’t. Me: Yes, you did. Them: No I didn’t. Me: Here is the email. See? Them: Where? I can’t even comprehend. This person and others have done this repeatedly without acknowledgement or remorse.
Make them stop. Is it me? I thought, take action. Start to call the liars out. Say, wait, that is a provable falsehood. Ask, why would you lie to me? Inquire, help me understand why you would say, you did not send an email when we both can see you did? (Breathe, Sheila, breathe.) Well, I have tried all of these things and they do not work. Google advises to avoid the person and/or minimize damage.
Minimize and avoidance feels so theoretical and unsatisfactory. These liars are living their best lives whilst I question my sanity. So, here I am, Sunday afternoon with an unfinished blog post at brunch, that traditional get together with friends over a meal where the problems of the world are solved. I described my angst and one of my friends said, oh that is BPD, Borderline Personality Disorder. Read the book, Stop Walking on Eggshells. People with BPD, lie. They lie for no reason. They lie about things you can check. They will never take accountability. What happens to us is, we don’t get the validation that the person is lying and we turn internally on ourselves. It makes us crazy. How did she know? Yes. She understands and finally, something makes sense. In the US, 9% of the population has some form of Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), worldwide, 6%. Let the conversations begin because, we have all encountered these people.
Look, this is a complex topic and there are subject matter experts with in-depth knowledge. I am not qualified to render a diagnosis. However, I am responsible for my sanity and my emotional wellness. I offer you this possibility that may help you. This week, consider, you’re sane and logical. You have dealt with a pathological or compulsive liar; someone with Borderline Personality Disorder. When others dismiss this behavior as “this is just how they are,” know, you are validated, you are dealing with a BPD. Namaste.
Link to Content from Graphic:
https://www.choosingtherapy.com/pathological-liar/, https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/pathological-liars#causes, https://www.newportinstitute.com/resources/co-occurring-disorders/pathological-liar-signs/?psafe_param=1&utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=NI_performancemax&utm_term=&kpid=go_cmp-17672242732_adg-_ad-__dev-c_ext-_prd-&gclid=Cj0KCQiAjbagBhD3ARIsANRrqEs_TdKlbpWzE3fjeM2KGqbte2yQo97ULdqkqAtT1iqnn3R44ddsPswaAg2VEALw_wcB
Balancing on Unstable Surfaces 
Calm down, it will be ok.
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