Be it procrastination, ADHD, something in the air or the time change as soon as I sat down to write, the windows called out, wash me, now. That was 9 hours ago. In addition to a general house cleaning, I straightened out all cabinets and closets and washed the kitchen walls. Then, there was the digital thermostat repair, I still cannot get the AC to work, but, I have all my documents together for my real ID appointment. I have not written a word because I was drowning. Yes, metaphorically I did a panic drowning.
I saw Kellie Carter Jackson speak this week about her latest book, We Refuse: A Forceful History of Black Resistance. It was an emotionally charged talk that described the power of refusal. She elaborated on the final chapter 1&2– Drowning.
If the person was panicking, he needed to be careful. A person who is flailing could drown a lifeguard by attempting to to jump on them and even push them underwater. If the panicking drowning person was bugger than him, this could be a real problem. The instructors guidance was simple: let them drown. It’s better to reduce a person after they’ve lost consciousness than to risk being pulled under. Once unconscious, they can be safely rescued and brought to shore, and then a lifeguard or paramedic can resuscitate the. “Let them drown.”It seems harsh the rationale behind it. A panicked person in the water is a danger to themselves an others.
Kellie Carter Jackson: We Refuse, (New York, Seal Press, 2024) page 241
I wouldn’t have said I was panicking during my 9 hour siege, but clearly I was. No one could have talked me out of my sudden urgency to get things done. So much on my mind about the state of the world, US politics, and so on. Whew. It made sense when I heard it and now it resonates. For many, in this moment, things are spinning out of control. But, how do you help?
Let Them! Mel Robbins’s “Let Them” is a mental shift, just let other people make their choices and live their lives and stop making your job or responsibility to manage or control what other people are doing. But wait, there is more. After Let Them is Let Me. Let Me is where you shift your focus to what is within your control: your own reactions, choices, and responses to situations and people.
This week reflect on “Let Them Drown” and “Let Them & Let Me.” With a new context, consider times when “let them drown” applies. Are there times to Just let someone spinout, burnout, exhaust themselves and then help. Reflect on “let them and let me.” What can you let go of that is out of your control and what can you do that is in your control.
1The is for the panicking person.
2To be clear, the idea is to let the person down, not die, drown.
Balancing on Unstable Surfaces 