The Pivot: Choice, Interactions and Thanks

I’m not going to pivot from the draft I started on Monday because of what started on Tuesday; the dramady is still in process. Life is a series of choices and interactions. This week, I chose to, stay on the planned path. We have choices and interactions daly, all the time, both big and small. But, in hindsight some choices and interactions that are pivotal. A couple of weeks ago, during an interview for a podcast, I mentioned one of those pivotal interactions. Within a couple of weeks, I realized the power and impact of this seemingly small interaction. What’s special to me, I had the opportunity to acknowledge and thank the person in a public way. ¹

I have not always done this in the past. Bernetta Lynch. She showed up out of no where when I was 11, and this girl was about to beat me up. Bernetta, who towered over all of us in height told the girl to leave me alone. That was it, done. I was bony, a light weight child, not one who would do well in a fight. I still shutter to think how that beatdown would have damaged my psyche. Even the fact that Bernetta stepped in gave me a little boost. Sure I was a little skittish for a few weeks, but there is a difference between skittish and abject terror. No, I can’t go back and thank her; I found her on Facebook 8 years ago, a few days before she died.

Over the years, in days that predated google and ways of finding and connecting, there have been a few more. At the same time, there was a time when I got thanks. As a councilor for incoming freshmen on an engineering scholarship, I gave the introduction to the University of Tennessee. It was a room of 30 self assured and confident teenagers. I asked how many graduated as valedictorians; about 75% of the hands went up; then, I asked for salutatorians and that was pretty much the rest. They all glowed with accomplishment until I said, look around, you are brilliant smart and excel at math; figure it out, all of you cannot be number 1 and that’s Ok. They did not take this very well… at all. In an attempt to put them at ease, I described how this was an intense environment and how I got a 7 once a test ….a 7 out of 100.

Their young minds, bless their pea picking hearts, thought I jest. They laughed and so we continued.However, over the next year, as I ran into a couple them on campus, I heard the stories. One was very dismayed at a 67 test score and recalled my 7…out of 100. Another had gone into complete meltdown and remembered “you all can’t be number 1.” When I gave a college commencement address a few years ago, I asked the students, when you’re out in the world, and you act on some guidance, some knowledge you got from this institution, please, take a moment, send a note, an email, some kind of thanks to your professor.

This week consider the interactions that made a difference. Maybe an interaction or choice had a profound impact on you, or maybe you were that beacon of light for someone else.