The Lunar New Year starts this week and the time and day depend on your time zone. As I write this, we’re at the tail end of Dragon year and preparing for the start of Snake year. The Solar New Year is January first and the Lunar New Year is the second new moon after the winter solstice. I explained that when I had a face to face meeting with my worldwide team prior to my ice breaker.1 The ice breaker – find your animal year and organize teams in accordance to animal triads. A much easier process than pick your teams or that whole count 1, 2, 3, 4.
The participants were all impressed at how much work got done and how well the teams actually got along versus the usual randomness of teams. A few people familiar with the animal sign triads commented how well the technique worked and that all of the teams avoided that “one person” who just doesn’t fit with the team. After a successful 3 days, that “one person” pulled me aside; “I’m a Christian and you should not use the Lunar New Year. I don’t believe in any of that.” Decades of being black taught me to smile, nod, and politely say, “Thank you for sharing with me; I apologize for your discomfort.” Of course there was a very different response I pushed way, way down in fear of being cast as the angry black woman, the arrogant bitch or the know it all youngster.
“Sir, how is the date of Easter determined in the US? Well, Easter is always, the first Sunday after the first full moon after the vernal equinox. That makes Easter a Lunar Celebration just as the Lunar New Year. Rabbits as a symbol of Easter, the Eagle as a symbol of the US and Huskies is the animal symbol of your beloved U Conn women’s basketball team. Animal Symbols and Lunar cycles that’s all this is.” Adulting sucks sometimes. This global meeting was to “brainstorm and be innovative,” yet even a diversity of thought and culture made this participant uncomfortable. Were there others who felt this way? I do not know. What I do know is this was an exceptionally productive meeting that led to successful results. What my colleague expressed was not an invitation to discuss, an inquiry of curiosity, or a conversation. In the bigger picture, this was not the time or the place to go on a verbal assault. Nothing would be gained.
But, when is the time to start these conversations, to deliver these messages? I don’t know. Last night, I was at the theater to see “Ain’t No Mo” 1for the second time. The mood music as you entered along with the comedic pre show announcement gave a strong indication of the vibe, this is different theater experience. Which meant, if this is too much for you, it is best to leave now.
After the show, the playwright, Jordan Cooper (with 7 Tony nominations for this play) was interviewed about life as a writer and actor and his experience to get “Ain’t No Mo” to Broadway. He commented on how powers that be feared that everyone would not understand the colloquialisms. The brilliant Jordon Cooper described how he responded, [… do we do that with Neil Simon and say people may not get the colloquialisms? No!] As I overheard conversations and listened to questions from the audience, there were a few stark differences in the white interpretation of some portions of the performance versus the black ones. Yet, the essence of the performance, the heart and soul were felt by all. It resonated that the pre show music and announcement were a trigger warning.2 Just in case someone had not read the synopsis of the play, was unaware of the content, this was yet another alert.
When do I need to alert audiences, give a trigger warning. Any time I’m in front of an audience as a speaker, or teaching a class do I need to say or do some kind of a preemptive action so people don’t walk out? Once, in Las Vegas with over 500 people in the audience, I nearly fainted about 10 minutes in when saw a group of people leave. Crap, what did I say? I faked a cough, took a swig of Dr Pepper and a moment to collect myself and then continued. Everything seemed back on track and fine until I saw the organizer rapidly approach me at the conclusion ahead of audience members headed in my direction. It turned out, thanks to rfi technology on attendee badges, hotel staff was alerted the room was over capacity and staff made people leave. This experience reminded me, sometimes people may walk out because of me and other times it has nothing to do with me at all.
Discernment. Every one is not going to be happy with everything. Consider your intended message, your goal and your target audience. If those things are aligned, it’s probably going to be OK. That was the quick dialog that went through my head during my Las Vegas recovery. The problem comes when there is no clarity, or you’re operating within a premise that no longer serves you. As you start Snake Year 2025, consider what you want to shed. What no longer serves you and let it go.
1Ice Breaker: away to introduce people to each other, to get a relaxed environment before the meeting.
2Ain’t No Mo is a satire told in a series of vignettes about African Americans who are given a one way ticket to Africa. Any Africans Americans left will be wiped of their memory and into white males.
3Trigger Warning: a statement at the start of a piece of writing, video, etc., alerting the reader or viewer to the fact that it contains potentially distressing material (often used to introduce a description of such content).
Balancing on Unstable Surfaces 