Pivot, Intention and the Death of a Friend

I attended an innovation conference in Cambridge this week.  At some point, there was a mass of people stuck and someone yelled “pivot¹.” I laughed so hard and when I met the eyes of the person who said it, we cracked up again. It’s those moments that are easily missed. A good conference gives you a rush, there are the ideas, the connections, the energy and the excitement, which InnoLead’s Impact 2023 on Innovation delivered exponentially.  But, a conference rush is followed by a conference crash. Suddenly you’re alone after a few days surrounded by the buzz of people and an infusion of new ideas. I like buffer time to debrief and gradually re-enter the real world.  That was exactly what my new friend Pivot and I planned. When I heard one of the conference speakers who’d flown in from New Zealand ask for restaurant recommendations, I invited her to come to Boston with us in what turned out to be a serendipitous evening of unpredictability.

“Pivot” is a reference to the show Friends. When I’m stressed, I rewatch old comedies and last week, I’d just finished streaming the entire series for the third time and rewatched the 25 year reunion. Five minutes from the end, Courtney Cox said to the cast, “I’ll tell you one thing, we’re not waiting so long to have a dinner.” I  googled to try to find out if they had as it seemed like something said in the emotion of the moment, that doesn’t happen in the reality of life. I have no idea. By Friday, the Friend themed “pivot” changed the trajectory of my week.

When my phone alert flashed Matthew Perry, Star of ‘Friends,’ Is Dead at 54, I sat stunned. I am so grateful for my friends. There are one from circumstance, like family, college, work, yoga, neighborhood and then the randoms. The randoms are the ones that amaze me because, they are timing. Maybe a couple of minutes or even seconds, these people would not be in my life. What I can say is meeting each required a pivot in my plans, what I thought I was doing; be it talking at the subway station, sitting down in Starbucks or taking a business card because a name was so unusual.

Let’s face it, sometimes you say let’s get together more as a cliché than an intention. I had a friend who worked near my new place in Oakland, When I moved, I’d said we’ll do lunch. I had a business trip to Thailand and was ready to push it off until I got back, but I didn’t. When  I got returned, she was in the hospital and she died a week later². Please, don’t say, I’m sorry for your loss. This was a gift, a reminder of living with intent, how quickly  the moment and opportunity can pass. This week, consider the combination of living intentionally³ and friends, are there any changes you need to make or actions you need to take?

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¹ Pivot

²Toni Scoralle

³The featured image is me and two of my random friends on my last afternoon in Oakland. One I’ve known for 14 years and the other 7 and this photo just makes me happy and it was taken by a third friend. I love my life.