“Why are you limping, are you hurt?” I get asked monthly. “I have scoliosis. My spine curves laterally to the right instead of going straight down my back throwing off my gait. I can compensate for it most of the time; when I’m tired, I limp.” Would friends and casual acquaintances ask me that so easily if I always limped? I think not; there are things “we’re not supposed to ask.” Therein is the conundrum, as a friend of mine said, there are all these things I I can’t ask, but, I suppose to know.
You don’t know everything, you’re going to say something stupid and at some point in time, there is a good chance you’re going to learn something that is going to radically shift your perspective. This would work were it not for our egos that will stop us from asking when we need to, or cause us to get righteously indignant at an innocuous comment.
There may be moments when you can ask questions; take the opening. For the reverse, are you a resource? To what degree are you open to others asking you questions “they’re not suppose to ask?” What are your boundaries; how do I respond to what is inappropriate? Think about it because it’s hard to respond eloquently without forethought.
If you’re in a diverse environment, economic, cultural, religious, occupation, age, etc., you will encounter something different and unfamiliar. How do you learn about it? (I used Google to find out why people were eating Tide Pods. Yes, it’s a thing; not my thing!) This week, think about the things you feel you can’t ask. What difference would it make if you could? Is there a way you can make that happen?
Hi Sheila, excuse me, not sure I have understood you correct, Would you prefer, if people would NOT ask you that ? Best regards Harald
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Thanks for the question. It’s fine for people to ask why I limp. It occurred to me, that since it is not all the time, people are comfortable asking. If something is persistent, we are least likely to inquire. As a friend pointed out. there things I don’t ask, because I feel like I’m suppose to know.
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