No one knows where I am including me. I’m in a barely motorized vehicle that looks like an adult sized baby stroller attached to a motorcycle with Mr Lindht. The man at Wat Pho convinced me to take “easy way to marble temple” and then instructed my driver in Thai. As soon as we pull into traffic, I think,  crapoloa, what have I done? I’m in the middle of Bangkok, a city of 13  million people, this could be a kidnapping. This could be my last few moments of freedom before forced into the sex trade. I realize the traffic stops are long. I’m in boot and a dress¹; I can jump out and run. I shift my canvas bag so I’m ready to swing it as a weapon the moment I sense anything is wrong. As I look around,  I see many tourists in this tuk tuk contraption. Back to reality, girl you are older; your temples are gray in a kind a bride of frankenstein way, and you’re black in an Asian country that favors fair complexions.  I literally laughed out loud, leaned back and enjoyed the rest of the day.² Anything I knew about Thailand was from a two hour google search and film. This was real life; not Bangkok Dangerous or Atomic Blonde. I’m not about to pen a  memoir, Nuclear Negro, that will be optioned for film giving me a five million dollar profit.

Of the 16 countries I have visited, the hotels inform you of imminent danger and this place had none. We’re ingrained to look for danger. Crossing a street? You look both ways. But, there is this dance of naive and street smart and finding a good balance between possibility and reality. I created a low probability worse case scenario. It’s easy to create disaster scenarios at home, at work,and in relationships that only exist in your head. That’s where the danger starts, you start to believe this farfetched probability and begin acting as if it is eminent. Sometimes, the only real danger is being so absorbed in a remote possibility, you miss  life going on around you.

 

 

¹ Me at the marble temple in my dress and boots.

²Hopefully some part of this will resonate with you, because I just publicly admitted to a most embarrassing episode.