The joke would be to say that one of these things is not like the others. The truth is, they are alike. They are three examples of lessons in accountability and how we excuse them. That begs the question: just because there is an excuse, does it make it right?
Tyra the Tyrant
I am guilty. I went along with it. While I can say to myself, “Well, after a couple of episodes, I saw it for what it was—more reality TV than a real modeling competition,” I still continued to watch. After seven seasons, while there was no evidence that anyone had come close to a modeling career and at least once a season there were questionable moments, unrealistic shoots, and “get thee to a therapist” moments, I’m guilty—I continued to watch.
In the new Reality Check: Inside America’s Next Top Model, an explosive documentary about America’s Next Top Model—one of the most popular and controversial reality shows of all time—I took solace in my own thoughts. I knew this was not realistic about modeling. My smugness quickly dissipated as the dark reality settled over me. While I questioned the show and its intentions, saw the manipulation, and had evidence it didn’t create real models, I still went along.
In 2004, the show filmed a sexual assault in an episode titled “The Girl Who Cheated.” Twenty-two years later, I still remember the incident. Ms. Saunders was blackout drunk and assaulted. The next day, Tyra framed her as a model who missed her boyfriend and cheated. It seemed questionable as edited, and now, after the documentary, it is horrific.
The thing is, reality TV show contestants sign agreements that require participants to resolve legal disputes outside of the court system. This is known as a Mandatory Arbitration Clause or a Binding Arbitration Agreement. These clauses compel participants to take disputes—such as wage issues, contract breaches, or personal grievances—to a private arbitrator rather than suing in court.
Tyra did not take accountability. She said, “It was the time. I knew we pushed too far, but the network wanted ratings.” Again, I wanted to point my finger and say, “Aha, you knew.” But again, I watched. Did I know everything? No. But I watched. I thought those around her—Miss J, Mr. Jay, Nigel, and the network—were looking out for the contestants.
Sure things didn’t go as promised; no one became a top model*, it wasn’t really a behind the scenes of modeling and it didn’t change the industry. Well, the relate TV part as a hit and franchised around the world but as for the modeling industry no. That’s when I had another round of the rude awakening. The power of the Cult of Trump.
Trump the Tricker
I listened to the State of the Union address on Tuesday night. It was comical to hear Donald Trump take accountability for things that did not happen—until each claim was followed by thunderous applause and standing ovations. When it’s eventually over, everyone will blame Trump like everyone now blames Tyra and no one is really accountable.
From the nonsensical: “Our country is winning again. In fact, we’re winning so much that we really don’t know what to do about it. People are asking me, ‘Please, please, please, Mr. President, we’re winning too much. We can’t take it anymore,’” Trump said.
To the inaccurate: Trump also said foreign countries are paying the tariffs. This is not true. Earlier this month, the Congressional Budget Office said foreigners are paying only about five percent of the tariffs. The other 95 percent is paid by Americans.
And the flat-out lie: “The result is price differences of 300, 400, 500, 600% and more, all available right now at a new website called trumprx.gov — and I didn’t name that one, either, by the way.” Of course, this is impossible, since a price drop of 100 percent would mean the drugs are free, and payments are given to people.
My reality check: Tyra would say things about the modeling world to justify the photoshoots, and I knew they were not true. Yet I continued to watch.
Tourettes the Torturer
True story: On October 19, 1987, the stock market crashed. It plummeted 508 points, or 22.6%—the largest single-day drop in history. I was in the IBM office back in the days of gathering around a radio for breaking news. Since I had just placed a sell order the day before, and all sales were completed at the end of the next business day, I suddenly realized the hit I was about to take. Frustrated, I snapped the pen I was holding in half.
The angle and speed of the snap sent a projectile of ink onto the pristine white shirt of a man in the office. Not a drop on me or anyone else—just on the white shirt. While I froze in horror, others marveled at my sudden surge of strength to snap a plastic pen, while some sighed in relief that no one else was splattered. I apologized profusely and insisted on paying to replace the shirt. Did I mean to do that? No. Did I have an excuse? Yes. However, I took accountability for how my actions impacted someone else.
John Davidson has Tourette’s. His symptoms began to appear at the age of 12. Mr. Davidson was at the awards as a Tourette’s advocate and as the star of the British biopic I Swear. During the show’s February 22 telecast, Sinners stars Michael B. Jordan and Delroy Lindo were presenting an award onstage when Mr. Davidson yelled the n-word from the audience.
Yes, we know Mr. Davidson has Tourette’s. It’s not controllable. What is controllable is the BBC, who did nothing.
The moment was not edited out of the BBC One broadcast, which was shown on a two-hour delay, and remained on BBC iPlayer on Monday morning before the ceremony was removed.
A BBC spokesperson said: “We apologise that this was not edited out prior to broadcast and it will now be removed from the version on BBC iPlayer.”
BBC, you apologized that the broadcast was not edited—but not for the harm done? The BAFTAs said, “…we apologize if you were offended.” Mr. Davidson went on to say
“When socially unacceptable words come out, the guilt and shame on the part of the person with the condition is often unbearable and causes enormous distress,” Davidson told Variety of the highly misunderstood neurological disorder. “I can’t begin to explain how upset and distraught I have been as the impact from Sunday sinks in.”
John Davidson describes how he felt, not the harm he caused. Perhaps he confused an explanation with an apology, as he now seems to be placing shared blame.
Davidson told Variety: “I remember there was a microphone just in front of me, and with hindsight I have to question whether this was wise, so close to where I was seated, knowing I would tic.”
John Davidson, BAFTA—the BBC—you are leveraging a black tax. African Americans are asked to get over it, to make everyone else comfortable, and not to bring “it” up. Do you know how hard it is to keep your dignity, to portray a calm demeanor when faced with such a great offense? Mr. Davidson, you said, “I can’t begin to explain how upset and distraught I have been as the impact from Sunday sinks in,” and then stopped. The rest—“and knowing my pain and suffering, I truly apologize for causing that in others”—was left unacknowledged. My reality check for this one is my reality.
I was in Zeist, Utrecht, Netherlands, in December 2008 for Sinterklaas. I was the only Black person in Capgemini’s largest Dutch office—a three-story building buzzing with people who didn’t see me as human that day. Businessmen and consultants had smeared their faces black as Zwarte Piet and handed out spicy nuts with laughter in their eyes. My voice cracked. Try to imagine sitting there, completely exposed, every nerve on fire, trying to hold back tears, biting down on the shame and rage, forcing yourself to look professional while being openly mocked. Every second felt like a spotlight on your difference, every gesture a reminder that you don’t belong. Normalization.
It’s simple: when you know better, do better. We all mess up. For me, it happens more often than I care to admit. Take accountability. If you’ve done something in the past that was not your proudest moment. Life is full or opportunities. Tyra, Trump, and Tourette’s—you can get the same lesson with different players.
Tourette’s and the BAFTAs by killk1yoshi
Balancing on Unstable Surfaces 